On The Fence About Rescheduling Your 2020 Wedding? Read This
COVID-19 has thrown a wrench into many plans, no question. How do you know which plans to stick with and which to reschedule? And how do you make a decision about changing a really, really big plan, let’s say… a wedding? There are lots of great reasons to have a wedding during the COVID-19 pandemic, but don’t let Plan Continuation Bias be one of them.
There are lots of great reasons upon which to base a decision to change or not to change a plan. But there is one decidedly bad reason: Plan Continuation Bias.
And there is one planned event that is considered bigger than the rest by many: the wedding. Very few other events are bigger when you consider costs, coordination of schedules, and the symbolic significance as a lifetime milestone.
COVID-19 has thrown a wrench into many plans not only because of social distancing guidelines, but also because we can’t say with certainty when these guidelines to mitigate the risk of getting COVID-19 will be lifted. For the betrothed couples with weddings scheduled in 2020, this means closed venues, venders cancelling and borders shut to international guests.
But life goes on – and love conquers all.
So how can you make the right decision without falling prey to the Plan Continuation Bias? This week on Behavioural Sassonomics: picking your wedding date for all the right reasons.
The Plan Continuation Bias
Proverbial wisdom tells us to stick to the plan. But is sticking to the plan always the best idea?
Plan Continuation Bias describes a tendency we have to stick to the original path we have set off on - even if the situation has changed to one that was unanticipated - without fully considering if it is still the optimal idea.
Most of the time, this is actually quite a useful bias. It saves us time from constantly questioning our plans.
But sticking to the plan when the plan no longer makes sense under the current circumstances just for the sake of sticking to the plan… well, that’s “suboptimal”. And when it’s suboptimal (meaning not the best outcome), it’s irrational.
That’s why it’s important to recognize that we have a tendency towards this bias and to have a real think about what you want for your special day.
For example, Plan Continuation Bias is a key safety theme in Aviation safety. Pilots need to be able to a) assess the situation accurately, including changes to the situation, b) understand the implications of the situation change, and c) re-engage decision-making to adjust the plan to meet the needs of the current situation. The cost of Plan Continuation Bias (i.e., not changing plans based on current conditions) could be danger to the aircraft and its passengers.
A study of 37 accident investigations by the National Transport Safety Board in the US found that 75% of the accidents in the study were related to decisions made to stick to the original plan rather than make adjustments, despite the cues from the environment dictating a need for another course of action.
What Are Some Things that Make Our Plans Irresistible Sticky?
What makes us more likely to stick to a plan?
One reason is increased cognitive strain (i.e. being mentally overloaded or stressed). Presently, stresses of COVID-19 are everywhere, from worrying about your job and income, to missing family and friends, to worrying about getting sick yourself. For some, sticking to the original plan can make it feel like you are in control. Cognitive overload can also lead to the confirmation bias, where information and cues from the environment are filtered and given more weight if they conform with the original plan, ignoring cues that might be telling you critical information about the context. Another reason we might be blind to the need to adjust is a culture that does not tolerate ‘bad news’, or discourages speaking up when circumstances change. Staying positive and hopeful is one thing, but not wanting to hear the reality of a changing situation or problems could spell disaster.
When it comes to your wedding, another barrier might be costs. Yes, there are costs to rescheduling (cancelling contracts with vendors might result in losing a deposit), but there were also significant associated investments made in creating the plan in the first place. Not only are you spending money on your wedding, but planning the wedding costs you a great deal of investment in terms of time, as you likely spent many hours looking at samples, inspiration boards, different vendors, sending out invitations and figuring out your preferences. Seeing as you took the time to craft an important event the way you wanted it in the first place, you might resist making changes. This point has been suggested by Dekker (2006), who argues that if you saw your plan as highly favourable in the first place, you might not take any cues that might emerge suggesting that it needs to change in an equal light.
Lastly, there is uncertainty. Depending on your wedding date, there is a chance COVID-19 might be under control and things can proceed as planned. Wait too long, and all of next year’s dates might already be booked. Loss aversion – the idea that we dislike losses even more than an equivalent gain – suggests that losing your original date will feel worse than the feeling of gain you would get from selecting a new date. On top of that, there is the endowment effect – a bias that occurs when we overvalue something that we own, regardless of its objective market value, just simply because we own it. You might value that original date – your date – simply because it was yours, even if that original date did not have significance to you and was just what worked with the venue’s schedule.
Love in the age of COVID-19
How Do I Make The Decision to Reschedule or Keep the Date?
According to my research, it depends on what you consider optimal vs suboptimal.
A few weeks ago, I posted a survey asking people their thoughts on rescheduling or keeping a 2020 wedding date on my social media. According to the results, 72% of respondents said – if it were them – they would schedule their wedding to a later time. Their reasoning was overwhelmingly dominated by making sure that the couple gets to have the right guests there or making sure the couple’s vision comes to life. In contrast, 15% of respondents said they would keep the original date and make adjustments for COVID-19 as necessary (i.e., social distancing, no international guests), stating that as long as the couple is there, that's all that matters. Only 12% said they’d advise engaged couples to have a personal small wedding and reschedule a big party later.
Bottom line, it appears people have different ideas about what’s most important when thinking about the logistics of planning a wedding. Let’s break that down further.
We know some of the restrictions brought by COVID-19 and an estimate of their timeline for getting resolved:
But there are some things that, except for exceptional complications, likely won’t change if you keep the same date:
You are still walking down the aisle to marry the same person
You can wear the same wedding dress and use the same rings
Any special artifacts (your something blue, perhaps) can stay the same
The weather is going to be how you anticipated it (obviously this depends on the date and location you originally chose - but it means that if you were expecting a summer wedding, you’d get a summer wedding, rather than seeing snow you didn’t want on your wedding day)
So the question is – what can you live with and what can you live without? What would make your wedding ‘suboptimal’ so as to reschedule?
Here are a few guiding questions:
Is there someone important to me or my fiancé who won’t be able to make it, either because of travel restrictions or because they aren’t comfortable travelling? Or will the people I need and want to be there be able to make it?
Is there a specific venue or vendor I really had my heart set on, and my day just won’t be the same without it? Or am I willing to find replacements if necessary?
Will my guests be able to have a good time if we are still made to socially distance? Will my guests be stressed or fearful? Or will my guests enjoy the unique nature of the experience and glad to be a part of the day despite any unconventionalities?
Is there something that will change about my wedding that would seriously decrease my or my fiancé’s enjoyment? Or will it be made more special under the restrictive circumstances?
Is the stress of worrying if my venue will be open or not causing serious disruption? Or am I comfortable with making the best of the situation?
Better PPE than sorry
I belong to a fantastic group on Facebook called Girls LOVE Travel®, a group of over 1 million active and aspiring women travelers providing resources and empowerment to one another to explore the world fearlessly through safety, socializing and support.
A member posted a question to the group asking for advice on rescheduling her wedding, currently set for October. I analyzed the 172 comments made in reply to the post from members all around the world. Overall, 57% advised her to reschedule and 36% advised she keep the same date (and 7% of comments were off-topic). 34 responses were from brides also contemplating their own weddings in the face of COVID-19 – 59% of these brides had rescheduled their dates and 41% hadn’t done so yet (were waiting to see what happens) or were planning to keep the date the same. Of those who suggested she keep the original date, many advised her to wait to make a decision until she had more information, and about a third of the responses told her to do something small now and a bigger function when things were safe. In the end, she decided to look into rescheduling her date because she knew that whatever will be happening in October vis a vis the virus, it won’t allow her ideal vision for her wedding.
The numbers have spoken. People prioritize different things for their weddings. COVID-19 makes some things about weddings impossible or uncertain, and other things stay the same. If you are looking to make a decision regarding keeping or moving your date, DO it based on the current situation and your preferences (your ‘deal-breakers’), and DON’T do it based purely on ‘sticking to the plan’. Do this, and whatever you choose will be the right choice for you.
With love,
